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 Author | Topic: Now what... (Read 99 times) |
Casi
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|  | Now what...
« Thread Started on Sept 15, 2004, 2:11pm » | |
Would you credit it?
I have been cutting myself less lately, which I guess its good, but the feelings I normally control with self harm needs to show itself in a different way. So, it's displaying itself as anger. I am so irritated all the time, and I will kick things, hit things, scream, throw things around. I know... I sound like a little girl having a tantrum or something. But does anyone have any idea how to control this? It's preferable to SH, but still not great... sometimes I really bruise myself when I whack things... and my parents will start thinking I am a mental case or something...
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-Becks
I won't get in line and be your middle man
So **** you I'll make my own plans
I walk my own path and blaze my own trail
(^Papa Roach - Not Listening)
Child abuse has to stop. Full stop |
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Kar
ADMIN - Bears one of two stone Stars of Elendil
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Did I actually say that?
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| | Re: Now what...
« Reply #1 on Sept 15, 2004, 3:01pm » | |
hm...well...when i usually have anger attacks or i'm really pissed off at something i try to do something that i enjoy doing so i keep my mind off it or what really helps me is to talk to one of my great buds. (you and Rae are on the top of list) 
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Casi
MOD - Finder of the Sword of Anguirel
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I am a duck! ^^
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Location: England
| | Re: Now what...
« Reply #2 on Sept 15, 2004, 3:17pm » | |
i guess... i can't always get to talk to my friends... and when I'm in a mood I'm liable to bite someone's head off for no reason, so I'm best left alone.
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-Becks
I won't get in line and be your middle man
So **** you I'll make my own plans
I walk my own path and blaze my own trail
(^Papa Roach - Not Listening)
Child abuse has to stop. Full stop |
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Kar
ADMIN - Bears one of two stone Stars of Elendil
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Did I actually say that?
Joined: Feb 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,607
Location: Kinko's
| | Re: Now what...
« Reply #3 on Sept 15, 2004, 3:39pm » | |
eh...i'll take anything ya' can dish out hun. i'll always be here for you and i know Rae feels the same way.
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Jessa
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Horses are not our whole lives...but for most, they make our lives whole...
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| | Re: Now what...
« Reply #4 on Nov 15, 2004, 2:33pm » | |
I used to do that... get in a bad mood and anyone in my way is at risk. LOL. Of course, I never actually hurt someone (except my brothers). I can't tell you how to fix it, or how to control yourself, because it just isn't the same with everyone. But there may be a different way of looking at it...
One of my turning points into being a better person was when I got a job working with kids (I was 17). I became an after-school tutor for failing grammar school kids. I had to go through a lot of specialty meetings and trainings to learn how to deal with kids' problems, and why they react to the things they do, and how family issues at home contribute, and how to deal with mom & dad and blah blah blah.... Anyhow, to make a long story short, when you get on a level with a person who just flat out doesn't care about life.... you realize how much you care. When you watch one child intentionally inflict pain on another child, you can feel the pain of both children. Does that make any sense? You know that one child is lashing out because of a mental conflict within himself (generally from no real positive attention at home) and lives off the fact that he can control others.
The other child, is not only hurt physically, but emotionally as well. She comes to you, expecting you to make the pain go away and you just can't. Nor can she comprehend why she was a victim. She didn't do anything wrong, she didn't say anything wrong, and yet all she feels is pain...
As I sat there, holding ice on the little girl's elbow, I remembered what it was like to be in her shoes at seven years old. I remembered how I felt. I didn't understand until I was a lot older why kids do the things they do. Now, I realize that a lot of kids don't realize their actions impacts other people in their lives.
One of my favorite jobs is working with children. They really are the world's greatest teachers. One of the lessons I also tried to instill in my kids is, "Whatever you decide to do today, you'll have to sleep with tonight." Meaning there will also be a consequence to your actions. And did your reaction change the problem any? Probably not. By not delaing with the direct problems in your life, your only dragging it on.
True story:
I went riding with a good friend of mine last night. We rode along side the road. When we noticed a car coming down the road, I moved Dakota off into the ditch to make sure we had plenty of room. My friend, however, didn't take things so calmly. She tried to jerk her horse off the edge of the road, kicking him, and screaming like someone had set her hair on fire!
So did the over reaction help any? I'll let you figure it out...
Well, no one got hurt. Thankfully, the driver saw us, and slowed way down. After the car was gone, I threatend my friend, "If you ever scream like that again, I will drag you off your horse and rip out your voice box!" Of course, she looked at me like I was crazy.
"He wouldn't move!" She retorted.
"Did he move when you DID scream at him? And then flailed around on him like a fish out of water?!" I asked.
"No..."
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Casi
MOD - Finder of the Sword of Anguirel
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| | Re: Now what...
« Reply #5 on Nov 17, 2004, 10:56am » | |
I want to work with children when I'm older. I'm looking for a career with abused kids, and maybe bullied kids.
I can't exactly "deal" with my anger problems, just like that. I do have an illness (two, in fact.) It's not like I drag it on for fun.
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-Becks
I won't get in line and be your middle man
So **** you I'll make my own plans
I walk my own path and blaze my own trail
(^Papa Roach - Not Listening)
Child abuse has to stop. Full stop |
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Flavius
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| | Re: Now what...
« Reply #6 on Nov 17, 2004, 7:17pm » | |
You can deal with your anger... im probably one of the most angryest people on earth... I was born angry.. i would break things for just getting ticked... i would claw, cuss, and make things bleed. My whole young life was a giant fight. With my parents help i have gotten my anger to a level that wont erupt ever time someone says my name and i try my best to keep my angry to a point where i dont do stupid things.
If you want to work with bullied kids and abused kids youll need to get it under controll. Its not hard.. just when you get angry take a deep breath and have happy thoughts. If that doesnt work go do something productive yet destructive at the same time.. like play video games where you can kill thing.. that makes me feel better cause im blowing the lil vitural dudes to little pieces.. or go chop fire wood, clear shubbery. And don't hide behind the excuse i have 2 illnesses becuase illnesses can be cured =)
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Yes i have no life.. leave me be =)P |
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Casi
MOD - Finder of the Sword of Anguirel
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| | Re: Now what...
« Reply #7 on Nov 18, 2004, 1:44pm » | |
Quote:| And don't hide behind the excuse i have 2 illnesses becuase illnesses can be cured =) |
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How about you take a moment to consider the fact that you don't know me? That comment is entirely out of line. You do not know me or my situations. Think before you open your mouth.
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-Becks
I won't get in line and be your middle man
So **** you I'll make my own plans
I walk my own path and blaze my own trail
(^Papa Roach - Not Listening)
Child abuse has to stop. Full stop |
|
Flavius
Owns an Emerald Elfstone
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Courage and Honor!
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Gender: Male
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| | Re: Now what...
« Reply #8 on Nov 18, 2004, 4:06pm » | |
The ONLY barriers that you confront are the barriers that you, yourself put up.
And how about you take a moment to notice that you snap at people who try to help you.
How about this... you tell us what the problem is becuase the only info i seem to get is i have urgers to cut myself and i do so... you say your bascially "hopeless" then lay it out becuase just going i need help without getting any wont help you.
And i dont need to open my mouth when i type 
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Yes i have no life.. leave me be =)P |
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Casi
MOD - Finder of the Sword of Anguirel
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Location: England
| | Re: Now what...
« Reply #9 on Nov 19, 2004, 10:04am » | |
Listen, I'm sorry if I came across rude, but I face enormous ignorance and narrow-mindedness towards my illnesses every day. I do not hide behind them, they are real and they have changed my life forever. I did not give myself an illness on purpose.
I don't say what the problems are when I post because the posts are aimed at those who already know what is wrong with me, such as Gold.
I don't expect to really get help from posting on a forum. All I am after is a little reassurance that I am not entirely crazy, which I am starting to think I am.
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-Becks
I won't get in line and be your middle man
So **** you I'll make my own plans
I walk my own path and blaze my own trail
(^Papa Roach - Not Listening)
Child abuse has to stop. Full stop |
|
Flavius
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Courage and Honor!
Joined: Aug 2004
Gender: Male
Posts: 95
| | Re: Now what...
« Reply #10 on Nov 19, 2004, 12:46pm » | |
Thats ok.. first step towards less anger is forgivness which takes a bit but worth the effert .
Well.... from what i know so far, depression, cutting.....
Lets start with the cutting. When you give into this it will only get worse. Do your best not to, no matter if you pass out, cronitc cutting yourself is like taking drugs, you have to stop or you wont get better.
And with depression... my old best friend. Best way to deal with depression is to think of things that have made you happy, like going to a theam park, or getting a pet dog. Belive it or not chcoalate helps because of the caffine.
And dont let your illnesses rule your life. if you do that then you have already lost. strive to make it so they are not there. I have bad asthma.. but i play high school sports (which is a LOT of running) but i dont give in. So you shouldn't eather  ... unless you have probelms with platelets from no colin or have that weird bruseing disease....... then try your best
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Yes i have no life.. leave me be =)P |
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Casi
MOD - Finder of the Sword of Anguirel
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I am a duck! ^^
Joined: Jan 2004
Gender: Female
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Location: England
| | Re: Now what...
« Reply #11 on Nov 19, 2004, 3:13pm » | |
Heh... oh yes, cutting is addicting all right. I've been a self harmer for well over a year. I've tried so many times to stop, fought so hard, and I just can't.
I find it really hard to shake off my depression. Have you ever had clinical depression? Mine isn't just feeling low... it's apparently clinical and I've been told I should be on drugs for it. I'm not only because my parents refused.
I have clinical depression and obsessive compulsive disorder... between them they manage to rule my life pretty efficiently.
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-Becks
I won't get in line and be your middle man
So **** you I'll make my own plans
I walk my own path and blaze my own trail
(^Papa Roach - Not Listening)
Child abuse has to stop. Full stop |
|
Flavius
Owns an Emerald Elfstone
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Courage and Honor!
Joined: Aug 2004
Gender: Male
Posts: 95
| | Re: Now what...
« Reply #12 on Nov 19, 2004, 4:48pm » | |
Ive had clinical depression but i was put on drugs untill the fluids in my brain balenced back out. Why wont they let you get the meds if you need them?
Dont say you cant saying i cant is putting up yet another wall for you to run into. Just keep trying and if you really want to stop it will go away, it will take time, but it will go away
Obsessive compulsive disorder huh? my dad has that.. and I have issues with it.... ive been dealing with it by not doing the stimuli my body wants to... Ill ask my dad what he did becuase he doesn't have much of a problem with it anymore.
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Yes i have no life.. leave me be =)P |
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